Man Hands

Posted by admin on September 22, 2017 Blog | Parody Songs | Tags: , , , , , | No comments

In season eight of “Seinfeld,” on an episode titled “The Bizarro Jerry,” the phrase “Man Hands” was coined. If you’re not familiar, Jerry went on a date with a beautiful woman with manly hands. She proceeded to open up a non-twist off beer cap, rip a lobster in two and wipe Jerry’s face with her enormous digits.

With that memory in mind, I used Niall Horan’s hit, “Slow Hands,” to pay tribute to all of the women out their with giant hands and the men who love them. Here’s “Man Hands.” Lyrics are below.

Went on a date I’d like to erase
Girl had hands bigger than my face
Had mitts like my dad
But on a five foot lady
Her fingers were meaty like Raisin’ Canes
Boy, them dukes put Hulk fists to shame, yeah
Don’t wanna make her mad
She might go Whack-a-Mole crazy
Man, Man Hands
Homegirl’s got paws bigger than a grizzly bear
Aw, damn
That girl sure can work a jar of jelly, yeah
Oh, no
I’ve seen her palm a basketball. It’s shocking
I’m no fan of those
Man Hands
Man Hands